Why you need to find yourself before someone else does:
I used to be one of those people, in my early twenties, who constantly was looking for attention, appraisal and acceptance from the world around me. I´ts quite common though, that age, filled with insecurities about pretty much anything, my hair, my clothes, my boyfriends, my opinions, my dreams. I always felt the need to please other people, to adjust myself into what they wanted me to be, cause I felt my own self wasn´t good enough to fit in to their world. I think the best part about turning 30 was that I somehow stopped caring what other people thought, it was such a relief. There´s still people around me that feel the need to give me their opinion about things that aren´t any of their business, but the good thing about growing up is that those things nowadays just goes in through one ear and out the other. I hear you but I just don´t care. I don´t need the acceptance of other people, because I have the acceptance of myself. I´m a pretty great person, I know what I want and I know where I´m going and if someone else doesn´t agree with me, then that´s literally their problem not mine, I´m not going to waste my energy on things beyond my control, things that are going on inside someone else´s head.
“Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.”
― Brian L. Weiss
Instead of fishing for the love and attention of other people, or waiting for that perfect someone to come around and complete you I want to share my best tips and tricks for how to shake your own core and create your own happiness.
Do some soul searching
Get to know yourself, and figure out what you really want in life. Who are you? I´ve spent the past two summers pondering this, a lot of free time helps, like being unemployed when your friends aren´t for example. But even if you´re working your butt off full time, at least try to squeeze in 20 minutes of daily “me time”. I know you can do that, just take it out of your “Facebook time-account”. 20 minutes of just you, meditating, day dreaming, reading, no TV or radio on in the background, just the sweet sound of your own wonderful mind thinking and fantasizing about your wishes and dreams. 🙂 (Tip of the day; Brian Weiss meditation CD I´m in love with, soo relaxing and healing for your soul!)
Go for walks
This kind of falls under the soul searching category as well, as this is when I usually get most of my daily ponderings done. However getting some air, and some sun light (helps create vitamin D, which makes you happy) and some exercise to kick start those endorphins are all great for your well being and for clearing your head, in order to take in new knowledge or reconstruct some old.
I´m addicted to learning new things, which is probably why I´ve changed my career direction about 50 times in my life. There are just so many exciting areas out there that I want to learn more about. It´s the best feeling in the world when you notice yourself changing throughout the years and you´re just becoming smarter and smarter. 😉 So yes, read as much as you can (or if you prefer, one of my favorites is to get the audio book for my ipod and listen to while power walking, since I have little time for actually sitting down with a book, even though I do love it). Or maybe take a class in something you´ve never tried before, that will also allow you to meet new people, and make new connections. (For great reading tips go to my books and movies section above.)
This will help opening your mind, the world is such an interesting place and we just don´t take advantage of it enough living here. 🙂 Many of us are too busy staying safely in our comfort zone, fearing things that are different from what we are used to.
The Gratitude List
Every day I write down a few things that I´m grateful for. It gives me perspective on life and makes me appreciate all the wonderful things I have which in turn will lead to attracting more wonderful things. It can be anything, nothing is too small to deserve your gratitude and attention. For example, this is my list of gratitude today.
I´m grateful for the sun shining and that I was able to walk to work today, I´m grateful for my bills being paid easily this month, I´m grateful for that I found the perfect color threads for a project I´m working on, I´m grateful for my wonderful friends helping me out whenever I need them. Seeing all this in writing makes it more real, and it gives a little reminder of all the good things I have in my life, that I sometimes forget about.
Listen to your intuition
“If you rely exclusively on the advice of others, you may make terrible mistakes. Your heart knows what you need. Other people have other agendas.”
― Brian L. Weiss, Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited