Lots and lots of ladybugs

These are some of my favorite scenes from the movie Under the Tuscan sun. And if you, like me, are a fan of the law of attraction and creative visualization then you probably understand why. 😉

Whenever I feel a bit down I watch this movie and I´m instantly reminded that no matter where I am, I am always exactly where I´m supposed to be, and in the end I will get everything that I wish for. (The good and the bad stuff so always wish for the good stuff!)

PS. And as a Grey´s fan I do enjoy watching “Christina” and “Addison” playing a couple. 🙂

The simplicity of getting everything you want

All you need to do is let go of the negative energies that surround you in your life. And yeah, I know that´s sometimes easier said than done. I may be a bundle of optimism on this blog but I lose my faith sometimes too. Especially when people and the world around you are demanding things from you, reminding you of all the crap, trying to feed you their bad energy. It wasn´t until I discovered something, the lesson I was supposed to learn from these moments, that I finally broke the pattern. I needed to learn how to say no, to stop being afraid of hurting people or complicating things for them. It´s not my job to fix up their lives, not my job to make them happy. That´s their own job. My only job is to make me happy. So if you´re feeling like bad things are just adding up on you, try to break the pattern by just saying no, then there will be more room for happiness in your life.

So having resolved that little obstruction, I´m ready to take on some more good things, thank you! 🙂

Another kind of survival strategies

First it was the Japp chocolate bar commercial, and now this! Why do cavemen like this get to have a well paid writing job while awesome intelligent people like me still remain unpublished…?? What kind of publisher thought this would be a good book to give out in the year of 2012? I´ll tell you, they´re called Scholastic.

I now present to you How to survive anything, by Martin Oliver and Lottie Stride (Dear god woman! What did womankind ever do to you to make you hate your own gender this much??) The books come in two different versions, boys only and girls only, since we obviously encounter different dangers in life depending on the shape of our genitalia. (The links above go to the books on Amazon UK if you feel like dropping by and giving them a bad review.)

So let´s start with the boys only version:

These are the titles of the chapters:

How to Survive a shark attack
How to Survive in a Forest
How to Survive Frostbite
How to Survive a Plane Crash
How to Survive in the Desert
How to Survive a Polar Bear Attack
How to Survive a Flash Flood
How to Survive a Broken Leg
How to Survive an Earthquake
How to Survive a Forest Fire
How to Survive in a Whiteout
How to Survive a Zombie Invasion
How to Survive a Snakebite
How to Survive if Your Parachute Fails
How to Survive a Croc Attack
How to Survive a Lightning Strike
How to Survive a T-Rex
How to Survive Whitewater Rapids
How to Survive a Sinking Ship
How to Survive a Vampire Attack
How to Survive an Avalanche
How to Survive a Tornado
How to Survive Quicksand
How to Survive a Fall
How to Survive a Swarm of Bees
How to Survive in Space

Pretty good and interesting tips for a kid to pick up, right?! If I had a son I´d gladly buy him this one, if it weren´t for the fact that the same publishing company had decided to make a girls only version in the same series.
Now, let´s see what kind of life threatening situations young girls might end up in…


(Ahh, and the cover illustration gives such promise, oh well…)

How to survive a BFF Fight
How to Survive Soccer Tryouts
How to Survive a Breakout (That would be skin not jail.)
How to Show You’re Sorry
How to Have the Best Sleepover Ever
How to Take the Perfect School Photo
How to Survive Brothers
Scary Survival Dos and Don’ts
(“Don’t throw things or yell at your ghost, it may react badly.”) (Noted! Thanks!)
How to Handle Becoming Rich
How to Keep Stuff Secret
How to Survive Tests
How to Survive Shyness
How to Handle Sudden Stardom
More Stardom Survival Tips (Oh good, cause one chapter just didn´t feel like enough when it comes to this very common life and death situation…)
How to Survive a Camping Trip
(“fresh air is excellent for the skin”)
How to Survive a Fashion Disaster (Oh come on!!)
How to Teach Your Cat to Sit (Haven´t we all been victimized by those damn cats who just don´t know how to sit?!)
How to Turn a No Into a Yes (Uhm…okay…question mark…)
Top Tips for Speechmaking
How to Survive Embarrassment
How to Be a Mind Reader
How to Survive a Crush
Seaside Survival
(“Don’t wear heels, tie your hair back, sunglasses add glamour.”)
How to Soothe Sunburn
How to Pick Perfect Sunglasses
Surviving a Zombie Attack (Finally something useful! Oh wait, zombies don´t actually exist…)
How to Spot a Frenemy
Brilliant Boredom Busters
How to Survive Truth or Dare
How to Beat Bullies (Fair enough, I´ll give you this one.)
How to be an Amazing Babysitter

Apparently the only situation both boys and girls may be a victim to is the zombie invasion, and we all know how often those happen… Luckily Scholastic received so much criticism for these books they had to “apologize” (well they acknowledged the criticism given at least) and ensure that no further copies of these books would be available. That´s a step in the right direction I guess, but my question is still; why were they made available in the first place??

The Breakup Bible – Tough love for the heart

Breakups can suck, or they can be the best freedom manifestation of your life. I have experienced both, and so have many of my friends, and so have most of you out there, that´s just life. One of the best ways of dealing with a breakup is of course analyzing it with your best friends over a few glasses of wine and a couple of liters of Ben & Jerry´s. Now after many years of deconstructing and analyzing the thoughts and feelings of the end of romance I have come to a few conclusions, and I wanted to share some of them with you today. This is about the toughest breakup of them all:

“The soulmate breakup”

First of all; some of you experience this everytime you break up with someone. You people need to get over yourself, seriously do you know how hard it is to find a soulmate in a romantic kind of relationship? And you seriously think you´ve done it five times in a row!? No honey, wake up and smell the hormones, your mind is playing tricks on you. If you believe you´ve found your soulmate five times already, then my guess is you never found one at all. Breakups suck, but you get over them every single time. Remember your first love? Do you remember how miserable you were when it ended? Now go to you second love, or even your most recent love, how do you feel when you think about your first love now? Do you still want to slash your wrists in pain over never being with him/her again? I´m guessing not… Time heals every single time, it wasn´t different the second or third time it happened, odds are it´s not going to be different this time either. It´s the law of relationships. You will get over it. You did not lose your soulmate. Had he/she truly been your soulmate they probably wouldn´t have broken up with you in the first place, clearly they did not feel the same way.

Anyway if this was a great love, you might need something a little stronger than B&J in order to get over it. I´m talking about our favorite defense mechansim; denial. Once I was so in love with a guy I had to live in denial and false hope for 6 months before I could accept the fact that he was cheating on me with a 16 year old (I know, ew…), but then a survival mechanism took over. I´m guessing my subconscious was done grieving and I was able to break it off, for good. I was sad for a few months, but not in that gut wrenching way I probably would have had to go through had the breakup taken place six months earlier. So yes, even if your friends may tell you you need to snap out of it, sometimes you do need time to process in order to cope. It´s just your body´s natural way of keeping you alive. Don´t stress it, you´ll know when you´re ready. Your survival instinct will let you know when it´s time to move on. Now on the other hand if this denial thing goes on for years, you might actually need to snap out of it though, that´s not healthy. You deserve better, and I´m not just saying that because it´s the typical cliché to word vomit out when you´re trying to cheer someone up. Everybody deserves to be happy in their lives, if not, what´s the point of being here?? Nobody is going to thank you on your death bed for being miserable your whole life. Life is not about sacrifice, it´s about being happy and loved, and if you´re with someone who keeps hurting you, you do deserve better.

first you much love yourself / myself / i deserve better

The Bell Pepper blog IS good for sex!

I love what people search for when they get to this blog!


PS. I love it even more that people actually google this blog! Yay! I´m famous! 😉

Although my design blog still takes the cake when it comes to original search words; “tulle fetish, penis ring, mummified fetish, what is a black penis candle used for, hot dominant muslim girls…” The list goes on and on, and apparently the answers are all in my blog. Well I´m glad I could help!

“Wow, you´re so brave showing yourself in public like that, even though you put on a little weight!”

A while back ago a swedish blogger posted some pictures of herself on vacation in the Bahamas. Like most people on vacation she was hanging out on the beach, and like most people on the beach she was wearing some sort of swim wear, in this case a bikini. This post generated over 1400 comments, not about the beautiful beach or what a great time she seemed to be having with her friends. No they were all related to her body and whether or not she should be allowed to show herself in a bikini in public like that. There was the one side that thought she was way to fat to even leave the house basically, and then there was the other side, that to me is equally bad, the ones that applauded her for wearing that bikini with pride even though she put on a few lately. “You go girl!”

This girl is smart and independent, she is just a little over 20 and already running several businesses, and should be a good role model for young girls, and yet she will still be judged by the way she looks in a bikini. One of the companies is a magazine dedicated to boost young womens´ confidence and as a response to the 1400 idiots she did what any young woman with a magazine would have done, she posted herself naked on the cover. Now as a big F U to all the haters out there I think this is a great idea, and I know the thought behind it to encourage women to be proud of their bodies regardless of size is well intended. The problem is that it keeps focus on where it shouldn´t be, on womens´ bodies.

Let´s put this in a different perspective and switch the genders. If she were a guy who posted photos of himself on the beach, how many people do you think would post the same kind of comments? How many people do you think would feel the obvious need to point out whether or not he should be seen in public (on the beach!) with so little clothes on. How often do guys get to hear the phrase; “Wow, you´re so brave showing yourself in public like that, even though you put on a little weight! You´re such an inspiration to me! You go guy!”
If there are any men out there who have experienced this please let me know!

Feminism has come a long way in the past 100 years, we´ve achieved the right to vote, the right to drive, the right to have our own careers etc. Well I´m generalizing the western society of course. There are many parts of the world where we are no way near this kind of equality. However todays topic will be focused on western society since a lot of these countries take such pride in the level of equality reached. And yes, we should be, but does that mean we should stop fighting to improve further? Cause when a woman can have all the success and career that any man but it still comes down to the way she looks, we are still not equal. It´s the same kind of patriarchal structures just taking a different form.


This pretty much sums up my point! 😉

Have you lost your sense of adventure?

Ok, just so that we´re clear, for a girl an adventure is going for a manicure, whereas for a guy it´s being shot out of a canon. Excuse me while I go vomit! Who comes up with these moronic ideas??

And PS. Am I the only one who felt like having your arm up a cows vagina would be considered a somewhat bigger adventure? But maybe I just lost my sense of adventure as well…

I am my own core shaker

Why you need to find yourself before someone else does:

I used to be one of those people, in my early twenties, who constantly was looking for attention, appraisal and acceptance from the world around me. I´ts quite common though, that age, filled with insecurities about pretty much anything, my hair, my clothes, my boyfriends, my opinions, my dreams. I always felt the need to please other people, to adjust myself into what they wanted me to be, cause I felt my own self wasn´t good enough to fit in to their world. I think the best part about turning 30 was that I somehow stopped caring what other people thought, it was such a relief. There´s still people around me that feel the need to give me their opinion about things that aren´t any of their business, but the good thing about growing up is that those things nowadays just goes in through one ear and out the other. I hear you but I just don´t care. I don´t need the acceptance of other people, because I have the acceptance of myself. I´m a pretty great person, I know what I want and I know where I´m going and if someone else doesn´t agree with me, then that´s literally their problem not mine, I´m not going to waste my energy on things beyond my control, things that are going on inside someone else´s head.

“Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.”
― Brian L. Weiss

Instead of fishing for the love and attention of other people, or waiting for that perfect someone to come around and complete you I want to share my best tips and tricks for how to shake your own core and create your own happiness.

Do some soul searching

Get to know yourself, and figure out what you really want in life. Who are you? I´ve spent the past two summers pondering this, a lot of free time helps, like being unemployed when your friends aren´t for example. But even if you´re working your butt off full time, at least try to squeeze in 20 minutes of daily “me time”. I know you can do that, just take it out of your “Facebook time-account”. 20 minutes of just you, meditating, day dreaming, reading, no TV or radio on in the background, just the sweet sound of your own wonderful mind thinking and fantasizing about your wishes and dreams. 🙂 (Tip of the day; Brian Weiss meditation CD I´m in love with, soo relaxing and healing for your soul!)

Go for walks

This kind of falls under the soul searching category as well, as this is when I usually get most of my daily ponderings done. However getting some air, and some sun light (helps create vitamin D, which makes you happy) and some exercise to kick start those endorphins are all great for your well being and for clearing your head, in order to take in new knowledge or reconstruct some old.

Read

I´m addicted to learning new things, which is probably why I´ve changed my career direction about 50 times in my life. There are just so many exciting areas out there that I want to learn more about. It´s the best feeling in the world when you notice yourself changing throughout the years and you´re just becoming smarter and smarter. 😉 So yes, read as much as you can (or if you prefer, one of my favorites is to get the audio book for my ipod and listen to while power walking, since I have little time for actually sitting down with a book, even though I do love it). Or maybe take a class in something you´ve never tried before, that will also allow you to meet new people, and make new connections. (For great reading tips go to my books and movies section above.)

Travel

This will help opening your mind, the world is such an interesting place and we just don´t take advantage of it enough living here. 🙂 Many of us are too busy staying safely in our comfort zone, fearing things that are different from what we are used to.

The Gratitude List

Every day I write down a few things that I´m grateful for. It gives me perspective on life and makes me appreciate all the wonderful things I have which in turn will lead to attracting more wonderful things. It can be anything, nothing is too small to deserve your gratitude and attention. For example, this is my list of gratitude today.

I´m grateful for the sun shining and that I was able to walk to work today, I´m grateful for my bills being paid easily this month, I´m grateful for that I found the perfect color threads for a project I´m working on, I´m grateful for my wonderful friends helping me out whenever I need them. Seeing all this in writing makes it more real, and it gives a little reminder of all the good things I have in my life, that I sometimes forget about.

Listen to your intuition

“If you rely exclusively on the advice of others, you may make terrible mistakes. Your heart knows what you need. Other people have other agendas.”
― Brian L. WeissOnly Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited

Will I be pretty?

To my future daughter and every little girl in this world.

When you approach me, begging, “Mom, will I be pretty?” I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer NO!
The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters.
You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing, but you will never be merely “pretty”.

If you still don´t get it:
How to talk to little girls

Make a vision board

I know positive thinking is a lot easier said than done sometimes (if you would have asked me a few years ago I would even have said most of the times). I used to be terrified of positive thinking cause I thought it meant jinxing things that I really wanted. I thought, if I expect the worst, I won´t be disappointed when the good things don´t happen. Well the worst rarely ever happened, however, the best never happened either. I was just stuck in this vacuum of waiting, needless to say, bored out of my mind. Everything was grey, dark, and the world around me was sucking the life force out of me a little more every day. Then I moved to Barcelona, and had an intense wake up call for my soul. For about 2 years I was on an emotional roller coaster, going from the highs of extreme creative happiness to the rock bottom lows edging on depression. A few months ago I was slipping into one of the dark lows again, when the universe decided it was time to give me a nudge in the right direction.

Within 24 hours three different people (with no connection in between them) mentioned the book The Secret to me. I had seen the cover before, but never reflected on what it was. Now I was intrigued though, so I got myself the audio book to listen to while working (I like being efficient). Well, I hated it! The people on the CD, the author among others, sounded like they were doing an infomercial. “Do you want a million dollars?” “Do you want to lose weight?” “Do you want to be rich and famous?” “The secret can give you all this, buy it now!” (More or less like that anyway.) It made me cringe! (Why do they even have to call it “the secret”, like it´s some big mysterious hocus pocus magic? It was just giving me cult vibes, and I had a really hard time taking it seriously.)

However, the concept intrigued me still, so I had a conversation with one of my best friends, she´s very spiritual and a practitioner of the law of attraction. She explained it to me in a way that actually made sense. Like attracts like. Positive thoughts make you happy, and lead you to sending out positive vibes, which leads to positive energy surrounding you, which leads to you attracting other positive energies such as people and events. Then I found the book by Michael Losier; The Law of Attraction, which explained everything more in detail (without the freaky infomercial cult subtext this time). So if you´re interested in learning more on LoA, I´d recommend the following authors; Michael Losier or Esther & Jerry Hicks. Great books! (Esther and Jerry Hicks wrote the original LoA books, that The Secret is based on.)

Anyway, I was going to give you my best pick-me-up tips! Cause I still get the dips sometimes, the ones where I just want to stay in bed, eat Ben & Jerry´s and feel sorry for myself. It´s ok if you do sometimes, what´s important is not to let it take over. Ok, it happened, now get out of bed and move on with your life! And here´s one of the ways I do that:

I have a vision board! On my bed room wall hangs a board, it´s completely covered in the things that make me smile. All my positive qualities are written there, all the things I´m grateful for in my life, all the things I wish for. It´s all there, represented in text or images. Whenever I feel down I take five minutes and just stand in front of my vision board, looking at the images, reading the words, taking it all in and realizing that all that belongs to me! It´s all a part of me, who I am! This is also a great way to start each day when you´re just beginning to turn your life around by changing your negative thought patterns into more positive ones. Every morning you step out of bed and spend the first five minutes of your day looking at all the things that make you happy. Remember to always keep the board updated by adding new wishes and wonderful things that come into your life.

So what do I want? Here´s my favorite exercise from Michael Losiers book, it really helped me reach clarity of what it actually is that I want in life. I did it in my head while out power walking one day, but for you it might be more efficient using the work sheet (or just a pen and any piece of paper).