Lots and lots of ladybugs

These are some of my favorite scenes from the movie Under the Tuscan sun. And if you, like me, are a fan of the law of attraction and creative visualization then you probably understand why. 😉

Whenever I feel a bit down I watch this movie and I´m instantly reminded that no matter where I am, I am always exactly where I´m supposed to be, and in the end I will get everything that I wish for. (The good and the bad stuff so always wish for the good stuff!)

PS. And as a Grey´s fan I do enjoy watching “Christina” and “Addison” playing a couple. 🙂

Hungry for change

This is a really interesting video on why we need to stop dieting and instead focus on being healthy and happy. There´s such an obsession in society today on beauty and being skinny and perfect and we forget the most important reason that we´re here, to work on our minds, to evolve and become happy, loving, intelligent beings. Will write a longer post on this subject later but first go watch this video! It´s only available for free for 19 more hours, so click on the image below to watch it!

How to be obnoxiously happy all the time

Make a decision that you are going to do everything you can to be as happy as you can in every moment.

This may be the best advice I´ve ever gotten (read it on The Secret website). Sometimes it´s easy to succumb to those negative thoughts, I know I struggle with it on some days. Something happens, something small or big that annoys you, you can´t help but bitching a little bit about it (see angry feminist rant below 😉 ). Now here is where I´m lucky enough to actually become aware of my negativity and before it starts to spiral I have the chance to change the thought into something positive. Basically just distract yourself from whatever annoying just happened. I do that by thinking about this sentence above; make a decision that you are going to do everything you can to be as happy as you can in every moment. And then I think, what would make me happy in this moment? What do I have around me right now that could put a smile on my face? It could be anything, listening to my favorite song, an episode of my favorite sit com, the fact that the sun is shining, calling up my best friend, thinking about my cat… Do what the song says and list your favorite things! 😉 And suddenly you´re back on track again!


My cat loves a sunny day too, just like his mommy!

Warning! Angry feminist rant!

So this photo has been circling around Facebook for a while now. I like it because it represents a kind of sexism that absolutely drives me crazy. The sexism by nice guy trick. You see this guy, he´s just trying to be nice and helpful to us girls. Cause obviously somewhere along the quest of pleasing the male population we women just got it wrong, so wrong! Nice clothes and make up, that´s not what men want, they just want natural beauty. Isn´t that great?! Thank god this guy finally stepped up to the plate, and took the responsibility of educating women everywhere, on what it is that men want. And also at the same time cementing the belief that womens´ sole purpose in life is to be attractive to the opposite sex. We don´t wear nice clothes and make up for any other reason than to get the male population to notice us so they will want to fuck us. That´s it, all we care about is our fuckability.

I have on a number of occasions, and I´m sure a lot of you have as well, met one of these guys. “Men don´t want skinny girls, men like curves, so you should just stop dieting!” (“Oh really?? Praise the lord!!”) Did you ever stop to think for a minute that maybe, juuust maybe, I actually don´t give a shit if you want to fuck me or not?! That maybe I have bigger ambitions in life than to please the entire testosterone filled half of the population?? That maybe I eat the way I do because I´m actually concerned about my health so that I can live a long happy life doing things that I love (and that does not include doing you)!? Maybe I wear make up because I find it a creative and fun way of expressing who I am!? Maybe I wear nice clothes and jewelry because I enjoy looking at pretty things!?

So yes, this might come as a shock to all of you “nice guys” out there, but women don´t need your help learning how to be more attractive, because we´re not interested in being reviewed by you anyway, and how we choose to present ourselves in this world is non of your fucking business!

I am my own core shaker

Why you need to find yourself before someone else does:

I used to be one of those people, in my early twenties, who constantly was looking for attention, appraisal and acceptance from the world around me. I´ts quite common though, that age, filled with insecurities about pretty much anything, my hair, my clothes, my boyfriends, my opinions, my dreams. I always felt the need to please other people, to adjust myself into what they wanted me to be, cause I felt my own self wasn´t good enough to fit in to their world. I think the best part about turning 30 was that I somehow stopped caring what other people thought, it was such a relief. There´s still people around me that feel the need to give me their opinion about things that aren´t any of their business, but the good thing about growing up is that those things nowadays just goes in through one ear and out the other. I hear you but I just don´t care. I don´t need the acceptance of other people, because I have the acceptance of myself. I´m a pretty great person, I know what I want and I know where I´m going and if someone else doesn´t agree with me, then that´s literally their problem not mine, I´m not going to waste my energy on things beyond my control, things that are going on inside someone else´s head.

“Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.”
― Brian L. Weiss

Instead of fishing for the love and attention of other people, or waiting for that perfect someone to come around and complete you I want to share my best tips and tricks for how to shake your own core and create your own happiness.

Do some soul searching

Get to know yourself, and figure out what you really want in life. Who are you? I´ve spent the past two summers pondering this, a lot of free time helps, like being unemployed when your friends aren´t for example. But even if you´re working your butt off full time, at least try to squeeze in 20 minutes of daily “me time”. I know you can do that, just take it out of your “Facebook time-account”. 20 minutes of just you, meditating, day dreaming, reading, no TV or radio on in the background, just the sweet sound of your own wonderful mind thinking and fantasizing about your wishes and dreams. 🙂 (Tip of the day; Brian Weiss meditation CD I´m in love with, soo relaxing and healing for your soul!)

Go for walks

This kind of falls under the soul searching category as well, as this is when I usually get most of my daily ponderings done. However getting some air, and some sun light (helps create vitamin D, which makes you happy) and some exercise to kick start those endorphins are all great for your well being and for clearing your head, in order to take in new knowledge or reconstruct some old.

Read

I´m addicted to learning new things, which is probably why I´ve changed my career direction about 50 times in my life. There are just so many exciting areas out there that I want to learn more about. It´s the best feeling in the world when you notice yourself changing throughout the years and you´re just becoming smarter and smarter. 😉 So yes, read as much as you can (or if you prefer, one of my favorites is to get the audio book for my ipod and listen to while power walking, since I have little time for actually sitting down with a book, even though I do love it). Or maybe take a class in something you´ve never tried before, that will also allow you to meet new people, and make new connections. (For great reading tips go to my books and movies section above.)

Travel

This will help opening your mind, the world is such an interesting place and we just don´t take advantage of it enough living here. 🙂 Many of us are too busy staying safely in our comfort zone, fearing things that are different from what we are used to.

The Gratitude List

Every day I write down a few things that I´m grateful for. It gives me perspective on life and makes me appreciate all the wonderful things I have which in turn will lead to attracting more wonderful things. It can be anything, nothing is too small to deserve your gratitude and attention. For example, this is my list of gratitude today.

I´m grateful for the sun shining and that I was able to walk to work today, I´m grateful for my bills being paid easily this month, I´m grateful for that I found the perfect color threads for a project I´m working on, I´m grateful for my wonderful friends helping me out whenever I need them. Seeing all this in writing makes it more real, and it gives a little reminder of all the good things I have in my life, that I sometimes forget about.

Listen to your intuition

“If you rely exclusively on the advice of others, you may make terrible mistakes. Your heart knows what you need. Other people have other agendas.”
― Brian L. WeissOnly Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited

Will I be pretty?

To my future daughter and every little girl in this world.

When you approach me, begging, “Mom, will I be pretty?” I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer NO!
The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters.
You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing, but you will never be merely “pretty”.

If you still don´t get it:
How to talk to little girls

We are spiritual beings having human experiences

Every now and then I get into a discussion with people about their spiritual beliefs and what happens when you die. I believe in a spiritual world, and that we never really die, we just recycle. When our bodies stop functioning our souls go back to the spiritual home we came from, we rest and revise the lessons learned from this life, and then we go back and are born into another body. We are put here on earth to go through challenges that will help us evolve as spirits. I´m not afraid to die, because I know that our home is a place more wonderful than this, and our souls are always safe, they can not be harmed, only our bodies can be harmed, and they are just a shell, a tool we use to get the work done. I`m always grateful for the challenges life gives me (even though sometimes it feels like you just want to crawl into a fetal position and cry), because no matter what happens I will learn from it and come out a wiser stronger person.

When I tell people this, I get different reactions, there are the ones who think I´m crazy, the ones who agree with me and every now and then you get the ones who have an experience of realisation (those are my favorites). What amazes me though are the ones that think I`m crazy, that always need to pull out the old argument of “if it can´t be scientifically proven, it can not exist”. (Sigh…) And I receive a lecture in how are bodies work, that everything is just a chemical reaction, our feelings, our thoughts, we´re really just highly advanced robots with the ability to interact with other highly advanced robots. (How is that not the most depressing thing you´ve ever heard?) Look, I studied physiology, I know how the biochemistry of our bodies work. I`m a smart person, but that also makes me believe that this can´t be all there is. There´s a collaboration going on between our minds and bodies, we are one for the whole life we´re here. We´re not just robots, we´re so much more than that. I don´t need that to be scientifically proven, it´s already real in my world. I`m sorry that some people can not feel that, but I guess they have a different lesson to learn in this life, and their minds aren´t as open yet.

The funny thing is though, these people, they go through mid-life crisis (or any other life-crisis), fear of death, fear of life, fear of people, fear of failing, fear of losing loved ones etc, while I´m happy and content trusting the universe to guide me to where I need to go, and yet they´re telling me I´m doing it wrong.

Make a vision board

I know positive thinking is a lot easier said than done sometimes (if you would have asked me a few years ago I would even have said most of the times). I used to be terrified of positive thinking cause I thought it meant jinxing things that I really wanted. I thought, if I expect the worst, I won´t be disappointed when the good things don´t happen. Well the worst rarely ever happened, however, the best never happened either. I was just stuck in this vacuum of waiting, needless to say, bored out of my mind. Everything was grey, dark, and the world around me was sucking the life force out of me a little more every day. Then I moved to Barcelona, and had an intense wake up call for my soul. For about 2 years I was on an emotional roller coaster, going from the highs of extreme creative happiness to the rock bottom lows edging on depression. A few months ago I was slipping into one of the dark lows again, when the universe decided it was time to give me a nudge in the right direction.

Within 24 hours three different people (with no connection in between them) mentioned the book The Secret to me. I had seen the cover before, but never reflected on what it was. Now I was intrigued though, so I got myself the audio book to listen to while working (I like being efficient). Well, I hated it! The people on the CD, the author among others, sounded like they were doing an infomercial. “Do you want a million dollars?” “Do you want to lose weight?” “Do you want to be rich and famous?” “The secret can give you all this, buy it now!” (More or less like that anyway.) It made me cringe! (Why do they even have to call it “the secret”, like it´s some big mysterious hocus pocus magic? It was just giving me cult vibes, and I had a really hard time taking it seriously.)

However, the concept intrigued me still, so I had a conversation with one of my best friends, she´s very spiritual and a practitioner of the law of attraction. She explained it to me in a way that actually made sense. Like attracts like. Positive thoughts make you happy, and lead you to sending out positive vibes, which leads to positive energy surrounding you, which leads to you attracting other positive energies such as people and events. Then I found the book by Michael Losier; The Law of Attraction, which explained everything more in detail (without the freaky infomercial cult subtext this time). So if you´re interested in learning more on LoA, I´d recommend the following authors; Michael Losier or Esther & Jerry Hicks. Great books! (Esther and Jerry Hicks wrote the original LoA books, that The Secret is based on.)

Anyway, I was going to give you my best pick-me-up tips! Cause I still get the dips sometimes, the ones where I just want to stay in bed, eat Ben & Jerry´s and feel sorry for myself. It´s ok if you do sometimes, what´s important is not to let it take over. Ok, it happened, now get out of bed and move on with your life! And here´s one of the ways I do that:

I have a vision board! On my bed room wall hangs a board, it´s completely covered in the things that make me smile. All my positive qualities are written there, all the things I´m grateful for in my life, all the things I wish for. It´s all there, represented in text or images. Whenever I feel down I take five minutes and just stand in front of my vision board, looking at the images, reading the words, taking it all in and realizing that all that belongs to me! It´s all a part of me, who I am! This is also a great way to start each day when you´re just beginning to turn your life around by changing your negative thought patterns into more positive ones. Every morning you step out of bed and spend the first five minutes of your day looking at all the things that make you happy. Remember to always keep the board updated by adding new wishes and wonderful things that come into your life.

So what do I want? Here´s my favorite exercise from Michael Losiers book, it really helped me reach clarity of what it actually is that I want in life. I did it in my head while out power walking one day, but for you it might be more efficient using the work sheet (or just a pen and any piece of paper).

I´m passionate, selfish and insanely happy

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at can change.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, on how to build up your self esteem and how to not be affected by other people´s negative comments about you. I think it´s something we´re all struggling with, I was definitely struggling with it for the first 30 years of my life. How do I not let these mean energy suckers get to me? I think one of the main pieces of the puzzle is to be happy, be happy with your life, your job, your place in the world. Cause if you´re happy you really don´t care what other people say or think of you, you know you love your life and that you´re an awesome person, other people are just wrong. If they have negative feelings about you then that´s their problem, their responsibility to deal with. (Well unless you´re a insensitive asshole of course, but that will have to be a whole other blog post.) So how do we become happy?

Well, first of all you need to take a long hard look at yourself. How do you feel about yourself? The problem is that when you´re thinking negative thoughts about yourself, you´re sending out negative energy that causes other people to think negative thoughts about you too. (Have you ever met a person and just felt instantly that you dislike them, even though you don´t really know them? That person is sending out negative vibes that you´re picking up on.) Now make a list of all your good qualities, that´s right, only the positive ones. This is not one of those job interview lists where you have to think of three bad things and three good things. Here we´re only focusing on the good sides, because they are the ones that will lead you to your happiness. So, make a list of at least 10 things that you like about yourself, it can be anything. I´m good at my job, I´m independent, I´m intelligent, I´m kind to my friends, I give to charity, I`m open minded, I´m faithful to my partner, I love my cat. Try to keep it about your personality though, not like “I have a nice ass” (which I´m sure you do, but an attractive appearance does not a self esteem make, this is about who you are not what you look like). Your value is in your mind not your body, even though society is doing its best to tell us otherwise. Oh, and you can not use the words don´t or not, like for example; I don´t lie or I´m not a cheap person. Only use positive statements such as; I`m honest or I`m generous, otherwise you´re still focusing on something negative, like the words lie and cheap.

Negative thoughts about yourself tend to spiral, one negative thought turns into another, and another and soon you´re just wallowing in your own self pity. Well the good news is, when you focus on the positive things in your life, that tends to spiral too! The more positive thoughts you have, the better you will feel and from that you will develop even more positive thoughts. This leads to you sending out a lot of positive energy, to which people and the world around you will respond to, now you´ll be attracting lots of other positive people and events to match your new good energy. And of course this new found happiness will only keep spiraling up, up, up…

This is what the law of attraction is about, and it´s really just logical if you think about it. If you are a happy positive person you want to be around other happy positive people, and you want to share happy positive things and events with them, meaning they will receive happy positive things and events. That´s just common sense! 🙂


Quote: Marilyn Monroe.