Slut shaming 101

I found this quote on Facebook this morning, it´s taken from the book More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali’s Life Lessons Through His Daughter’s Eyes, and yes, it´s exactly just that, a “life lesson” taught by Muhammad Ali to his daughters on a day when they were apparently wearing clothes a bit too revealing for his liking.

“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.
My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.
Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.
Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”
He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

This is the foundation of what we today refer to as slut shaming, that a woman who is sexually liberated (or just happens to be wearing a skirt that´s a little too short) should be ashamed of her behavior and that she´s not respecting her body. See that´s what I don´t quite understand, how is restricting what you wear in order to please someone else respecting yourself? To me respecting my body is maintaining the control to do whatever I want with it. I respect my body in the sense that I keep it happy and healthy by eating healthy, giving it sunlight, fresh air and exercise, if I´m cold I put more clothes on, if I´m hot I take some clothes off, if I´m thirsty I drink water, and if my body feels like putting on something slutty and sleep with every guy within a mile radius, then you can be sure I will let it! I respect myself enough not to be constrained  and judged by the opinions of a slut shaming society.

I find it sad that we live in such a man hating culture, reducing men to testosterone driven animals who are triggered by only the sight of a woman’s legs or cleavage. Personally I think men are better than that, I think you are intelligent enough to constrain yourselves and act respectfully towards women in spite of how much of their skin you see. Don´t let sexist opinions get you down, I have faith in you men of the world!

As a final thought, a question; how many parents would have a conversation like this with their son? Telling them to dress less sexy, and to hide their “diamonds” in “the mountain”?? Why does this rule only apply to women? Shouldn´t men “respect” their bodies as well?

As with every situation in life there is a Sex and the City quote to go with it:

“Wow, you´re so brave showing yourself in public like that, even though you put on a little weight!”

A while back ago a swedish blogger posted some pictures of herself on vacation in the Bahamas. Like most people on vacation she was hanging out on the beach, and like most people on the beach she was wearing some sort of swim wear, in this case a bikini. This post generated over 1400 comments, not about the beautiful beach or what a great time she seemed to be having with her friends. No they were all related to her body and whether or not she should be allowed to show herself in a bikini in public like that. There was the one side that thought she was way to fat to even leave the house basically, and then there was the other side, that to me is equally bad, the ones that applauded her for wearing that bikini with pride even though she put on a few lately. “You go girl!”

This girl is smart and independent, she is just a little over 20 and already running several businesses, and should be a good role model for young girls, and yet she will still be judged by the way she looks in a bikini. One of the companies is a magazine dedicated to boost young womens´ confidence and as a response to the 1400 idiots she did what any young woman with a magazine would have done, she posted herself naked on the cover. Now as a big F U to all the haters out there I think this is a great idea, and I know the thought behind it to encourage women to be proud of their bodies regardless of size is well intended. The problem is that it keeps focus on where it shouldn´t be, on womens´ bodies.

Let´s put this in a different perspective and switch the genders. If she were a guy who posted photos of himself on the beach, how many people do you think would post the same kind of comments? How many people do you think would feel the obvious need to point out whether or not he should be seen in public (on the beach!) with so little clothes on. How often do guys get to hear the phrase; “Wow, you´re so brave showing yourself in public like that, even though you put on a little weight! You´re such an inspiration to me! You go guy!”
If there are any men out there who have experienced this please let me know!

Feminism has come a long way in the past 100 years, we´ve achieved the right to vote, the right to drive, the right to have our own careers etc. Well I´m generalizing the western society of course. There are many parts of the world where we are no way near this kind of equality. However todays topic will be focused on western society since a lot of these countries take such pride in the level of equality reached. And yes, we should be, but does that mean we should stop fighting to improve further? Cause when a woman can have all the success and career that any man but it still comes down to the way she looks, we are still not equal. It´s the same kind of patriarchal structures just taking a different form.


This pretty much sums up my point! 😉

Warning! Angry feminist rant!

So this photo has been circling around Facebook for a while now. I like it because it represents a kind of sexism that absolutely drives me crazy. The sexism by nice guy trick. You see this guy, he´s just trying to be nice and helpful to us girls. Cause obviously somewhere along the quest of pleasing the male population we women just got it wrong, so wrong! Nice clothes and make up, that´s not what men want, they just want natural beauty. Isn´t that great?! Thank god this guy finally stepped up to the plate, and took the responsibility of educating women everywhere, on what it is that men want. And also at the same time cementing the belief that womens´ sole purpose in life is to be attractive to the opposite sex. We don´t wear nice clothes and make up for any other reason than to get the male population to notice us so they will want to fuck us. That´s it, all we care about is our fuckability.

I have on a number of occasions, and I´m sure a lot of you have as well, met one of these guys. “Men don´t want skinny girls, men like curves, so you should just stop dieting!” (“Oh really?? Praise the lord!!”) Did you ever stop to think for a minute that maybe, juuust maybe, I actually don´t give a shit if you want to fuck me or not?! That maybe I have bigger ambitions in life than to please the entire testosterone filled half of the population?? That maybe I eat the way I do because I´m actually concerned about my health so that I can live a long happy life doing things that I love (and that does not include doing you)!? Maybe I wear make up because I find it a creative and fun way of expressing who I am!? Maybe I wear nice clothes and jewelry because I enjoy looking at pretty things!?

So yes, this might come as a shock to all of you “nice guys” out there, but women don´t need your help learning how to be more attractive, because we´re not interested in being reviewed by you anyway, and how we choose to present ourselves in this world is non of your fucking business!

What do you think feminism is?


Picture from FB group A girl’s guide to taking over the world.

One thing that really drives me crazy is when people go; I´m antifeminism but pro gender equality. Feminism and gender equality are the exact same things! Feminism is about people having equal human rights regardless of their gender. That´s it! Now there is always going be the small click of extremists, the ones that think women are superior to men and wants a matriarchal society, however thinking they are the true representatives of feminism is like thinking all muslims are terrorists. It´s just a small group of people misconstruing the foundation of the belief, in order to fit their own, often not so humane, agenda. I can honestly say every single feminist I´ve met have been a supporter of the true base of feminism; equal rights for all men and women.

This is a comment I saw written on a blog once (can´t remember which) but I thought it summed it all up so perfectly I copy pasted it and saved it on my computer:

“There are still women in the world being sold by their fathers, who can´t leave the house without a man escorting her, who are raped as little girls because they show their hair and therefor are considered whores, there are wars going on with hundreds of thousands of rape victims each year… Do you think it´s wrong that the only reason this is happening to these people is that they were born with a vagina? Congratulations, you´re a feminist!”